she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Enjoy the penises
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
