are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
