is your mom at the bar?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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