should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
