Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
