She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
