she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
