My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
