so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
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I want her autograph on my taint
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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