six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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