I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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