Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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