i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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