"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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