THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize