So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Welp...herpes.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
did i just pee glitter
Randomize