I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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