I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
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I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
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He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
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