Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
