She is in my trunk
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
