walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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