Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
