Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
