i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
