just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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