You're my little dorito
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
