this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
