Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
