He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Your penis caused this!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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