Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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