Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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