Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
