just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I believe in your delicious
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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