Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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