is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
