so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
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she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
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Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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