Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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