So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
