I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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