i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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