the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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