She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
