dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
