You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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