): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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