Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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