Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
