i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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