Just mADE A PArabola og urine
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
