You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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