careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
