I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
