lets start a swedish sibling band together
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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