it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
