6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
