Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
