Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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