Im at strip club and am horny
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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