i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize