my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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