I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
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i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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