Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
