Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
